Ik heb tranen gelachen….

yetiamchosen: So the only part about this curse of recruiting potentials for the marine corps that isn’t utterly miserable is fucking with the people that have already signed up. Now, we don’t want to scare them off entirely, so we can’t just sit there and be like, “You’re going to die in bootcamp!” But we can be completely insane with each other in front of them, and let them draw that conclusion on their own. So we’re told to take the poolees on a 1.5 mile run today. No staff nco’s there, so we’re like, “Fuckit. There’s two recruits, there’s eight of us … four mile run.” So we start running and I had just had a monster energy drink, the lo ball kind, which is red. That’s a dumbass’s recipe for disaster, but I really wanted one so I had one anyway. It dehydrates you, gives you cramps, and makes you puke. So we’ve been running like half a mile and without breaking pace I casually puke onto the side of the road, and keep running. Among marines this is normal behavior, so no one even says anything, but the recuruit is looking like, “Wtf, did that guy just puke without stopping?”
geekryan: lol
yetiamchosen: And he’s like, “Dude! Are you alright!” I’m like, “KEEP RUNNING!” and I speed up a little bit, chuckling inside. And then it really hits me and I’m like, going full speed, just hurling all over the side of the road, wiping my mouth, running, hurling and he looks at the puke and he goes, “OH MY GOD ARE YOU PUKING BLOOD!”
geekryan: HAHAHAHA
yetiamchosen: And I go, “THAT’S NOT BLOOD IT’S CONFIDENCE AAAAGGGHHHHH!!!” And I just blast off like a little red streaming rocket ship. I look behind me and this kid seriously look like he’s just about to piss his pants, like, “Oh my god, what the fuck have I gotten myself into?” I got up to the front and this marine looks at me and goes, “Were you really puking up blood?” I’m like, “No devil, it’s monster,” and he just laughs, he’s like, “You’re going to hell.”
yetiamchosen: That’s it. I was chuckling inside all the way home.
geekryan: that really is awesome
geekryan: I can’t imagine how freaked out that recruit was
yetiamchosen: I hope he doesn’t sleep well again until he gets to boot camp.